I will feed you Life.
And you will feed me Life.
And then we’ll fall asleep until you thrash.
whooooooo wants to make out with me?
The only valentine I need
I took a photo of a fucking steak in the store and put it on the internet and now almost 16 thousand people have it on their blogs, I wonder whoever has this steak knows how famous it is. I bet this cow is in cow heaven wearing sunglasses and shunning the other cows because now a piece of his fucking body is on 16 thousand people’s blogs. I need to sit down for a minute.
It’s a rough night when you end up crying alone in a Wegman’s parking lot and can’t even afford to go to the movies by yourself.
Having a very emotional evening because I very much miss the extremely ignorant happiness I had with the vampire. I know that my current self would never be able to love him the way my old self did, not that he would even give me the time of day. But it’s very hard knowing that that fun, careless naïveté is something I will never experience with another person again. And I really very much wish that we had one of those cool casual ex relationships where I could wish him happy birthday next weekend with the BEST intentions and not have it be awkward.
Even though I am extremely saddened by knowing that I’ll never have that feeling of being madly, carelessly, innocently in love again, I know that I really have no romantic interest in him anymore. I will always care about him in some distant capacity, but not enough to subject myself to the embarrassment of caring so deeply for someone who can’t appreciate me again. But I really want to be able to say “Hey buddy I just wanted to wish you Happy 21st Birthday. Best wishes, sincerely. Party hard,” and receive some sort of sincere response, instead of being outright ignored.
I also really wish I knew what the next kind of happiness I can achieve with another person is and how to find it in a healthy manner. Because I think I’m doing it wrong.